Listening To The Quiet Ones

     In summer or on vacation, when the sun is shining brightly in a clear sky, do you sometimes wish for a cloudy day on which you could spend some time alone inside without feeling guilty about it?

     Getting dressed to attend a cocktail party, would you rather be having a few friends over for a cozy dinner by the fire?

     And, if you're getting your home ready for friends who will soon arrive for that small dinner party, do you ever wish you were just going to curl-up with a book or watch Holiday for the 35th time alone or with a loved one?

     If your answer to these questions was yes, then I want to introduce you to Susan Cain, author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking (Crown). I recently met Susan at McNally Jackson bookshop in Soho, where she was discussing her new book in a presentation moderated by Naomi Wolf. You may also have read Susan's recent essay on the front page of  the Times's Review a couple of weeks ago; about the importance of solitude in a world in which people have gone mad for "friending" and publicly documenting every detail of their lives, whether we want to know about them or not.

     Quiet is about introverts and extroverts, their differences, and how our culture has come to see the the latter as the ideal personality during the Twentieth Century and at the dawn of the Twenty-First. And, in some ways, I think, it's about whether we want to get to a Twenty-Second Century and still resemble human beings, instead of becoming loud, programmed, aggressive machines, who run in packs.    

     Actually, even if you answered no to the above questions, I want to introduce you to Quiet, since you may be married to an introvert or be the parent of one or more. You may work for one or have some working with or for you. If so, read this book.

Trex/RIP

     I once had a boss who was a classic extrovert and was uncomfortable spending more than ten minutes alone, unless he was taking a nap. For a few years after I began reporting to him, my annual reviews, mandatory by company rules, were less about performance and achievement than how far I had progressed in conducting business more like my boss.

    After a few of these reviews and having gained confidence that I was actually achieving desired results in my job, I told him that I was never going to be like him. I also mentioned that, contrary to his comments about my "low energy level," I really had a very high level of energy about problem solving, strategy, and marketing. The difference was that my energy was internal and his was external, and that it was always going to be that way; take it or leave it.

     He was totally flummoxed by the message and the style in which I delivered it. He never reviewed me again! When introverts speak from the heart, from confidence, about something they really care about, they can be even more effective "sellers" than extroverts. Susan Cain, introvert, proved the point as she spoke so intelligently, positively, and inspiringly about her subject

    Introverts live in environments largely designed for and led by extroverts. This occurs in business, in schools, on teams, even in churches. We also want to hire and promote the ones who shine in meetings. We want to vote for the ones who have the most "charisma." We root for the teams with coaches and players who will get in their opponent's face.

    Susan Cain does not want a world without extroverts; far from it, since she married one. What she does want, however, is to start a conversation about how we can level the playing field and see how our culture currently suffers from this personality ideal imbalance. Why force every child to play on teams and make as many friends as possible? Why only look to hire the ones who make the best job candidates, but not always the best potential employees, colleagues, and real leaders.

     Are we bucking Darwin's vaunted "survival of the fittest?"  Well, not exactly: after all some of the biggest, fiercest, loudest species are extinct. Why do we think humans will be any different? Besides, can we honestly take a look at the current state of politics, business, economics, religion, education in this country and around the world and declare how wonderful it all is to have all the big talkers in charge?

First, Listen

     The "fittest" are the ones who are able to adapt extremely well to new environments. This might mean they are the "wisest," and to be that you must reflect, think, have patience and work well on deadline. You must also learn to work well with the extroverts. And, you must be a good listener.

     Think about this. The number one person in our national legislature is called The Speaker of The House. Always has been. Wouldn't you think, based on the evidence around us, regardless of party affiliations or gender, that it's time to change that to Listener of the House?

     Quiet. What a concept.

     Let Susan Cain tell you more about it.

http://mcnallyjackson.com/event/susan-cain-conversation-naomi-wolf

Ed Note: McNally Jackson is one of Manhattan's last great remaining independent bookstores. Located near Soho, just east of Lafayette on Prince, it distinguishes itself in several ways: it is not afraid to have a cafe which can help cover operating costs, it creates many opportunities for readers to meet authors, and it even offers its own self-publishing service. Not to mention that I always find a book or books there that I have not seen at another shop or online. Go there.

RareBurghers' Exclusive: The Grate Debate

Mr. GoodTimeCharlie: Sky's the limit as far as I can see.

Mr. SkinFlint: No Sir, Nyet, No can do.


GoodTimeCharlie: Beg, Borrow, Steal; we only live once.

Ms. CheapSkate: You call that livin'?

GoodTimeCharlie: Bet The Ranch!

SkinFlint: Before They Foreclose?

Ms. Cheapskate: Over my dead body.

GTCharlie: That'd be my lucky day.

SkinFlint: Outsource, off-shore, privatize.

Mr. SpendPAC: Supply-side this.

Ms. CheapSkate: Never a borrower!

GoodTimeCharlie: Make mine a double!

Mr. SkinFlint: You had nine wives; I only had three.


GoodTimeCharlie: Yours were three times bigger than mine.


Ms. SixPAC I've got $5mill says you're weenies.


Mr.SpendPac: I'll see you and raise you five that you're a lying centrist.


GoodTimeCharlie: They kicked me out of Washington and I'm proud of it!


SkinFlint: I'm so far outside the Beltway, I'm wearin' suspenders!


Mr. BorrowFromPeter: Billion here, billion there. Big deal.


Ms. ToPayPaul: More like trillions!

GoodTimeCharlie: K-e--y-n-e-s. Keynes.

SkinFlint: K-e-n-y-a. Kenya.

GTC: Champagne!

CheapSkate: L'eau!

Mr. BorrowFromPeter: In God We Trust.

Ms. ToPayPaul: God don't feel the same way, Bub.

BFP: Too Big To Fail!

TPP: "...And Failure's No Success At All!"

GoodTimeCharlie: Let the good times roll.

SkinFlint: Yeah, a roll  of nickels.

GTC: How'd you get to be such a pain?

CheapSkate:  Since you made all the pills free!


GTC: Suffer the little children.

SkinFlint: And stick them with the bill.


GTC: Grow our way out.

PayAsYouGo: Right out of business.


SpendPAC: When will you say yes?


CheapSkate: When it really means no!

Moderator: We'd like to thank you all from the very, very bottom of our hearts.

Audience: Hey, where's our wallets and purses? We had 'em when we got here!

Curtain.

RareBurghers...

Resting In Peace

RareBurghers...

Are good listeners at a table-full of talkers.

Try to keep these three close-by: Wonder, Courage, Love.

Know that a winner may take all, but a champion learns the difference between the score and the game.

Weigh their words and avoid letting words get in the way.

Are often comfortable spending time alone, while preferring companionship to loneliness.

Appreciate Jobs's surfaces, but are in awe of Woz's depth.

Know that the general decline of our culture accelerated with the loss of privacy in our homes, offices, classrooms, and our lives.

Woz/Jobs First

Appreciate that the monarch butterfly has been adapting brilliantly for eons, flying thousands of miles south to rest in peace nearer the sun, while thunderous T-Rex rests in pieces.

Get that reading is one very enjoyable way to sit still and listen.

Season wood, hold and age the best wine to share, and save advice for its right moment.

Santa's Secret List Exposed!

 Santa, the original global-mobile app,

Wakes from his analog winter’s nap,

And taking up pen and real paper too,

Composes his List, just like me and you.

A DVD of It’s A Wonderful Life for Angela Merkel.

A half-dozen pair Tiffany sterling-silver handcuffs for MF Global & “Friends.”

Talbot’s Gift Card for Lady Gaga.

Coal for the ones who thought up Black Friday, Greek Bonds, and offshore call-centers.

Six ounces of pure-gold for the inventor of EZ Pass.

A Kim Kardashian avatar for every NBA player.

A vintage toy-Edsel for the founders of Groupon.

Coal for the ones who scheduled a World Series game in November, hyped Irene everywhere except where she actually caused devastation, and turned the Sports page into the Police Blotter.

Edsel

A Che Guevera poster for Warren Buffet.

A biography of W.C. Fields for the Republican candidates.

435 original oil paintings of Shanghai’s Pudong district for members of Congress.

Coal for the ones who went into fracking after they closed their subprime mortgage agencies; turned Williamsburg, Brooklyn into the Museum of Temporary Art; and would not let the Texas Rangers register just one more strike.

One copy of the Autobiography of Andrew Cuomo for Governor Cuomo.

100 copies of the Cliff Notes version of Gibbon’s A History Of The Decline And Fall Of the Roman Empire for the US Senate.

Another mirror, with step-stool, for Mayor Mike.

Giants' Victory Parade

Coal for the ones who take with both hands and hire no one; who love and adore Steve Jobs now that he’s gone, but wouldn’t let the Steve Jobs-es of this world within ten miles of their own HQ’s; who created the 15 month long presidential campaign to enrich themselves and put everyone else to sleep.

A facelift from Bruce Jenner’s surgeon for the Red Sox, a new owner from Earth for the Dodgers, the World’s Dumbest Billionaire to help the Mets, and Tony Bennett singing I Left My You Know What You Know Where, while winding his way down Lombard Street in the 2012 Series victory parade.

*A new Rye bridge by that old restaurant, a happy 100^th to Manursing Island Club, a clue about the Most Secret Playland Plan In The History Of The World, a contract renewal for the parking meters that never work.

Peter Drucker's Principles of Management for the guys at BlackBerry’s RIM, a copy of How To Win Friends And Influence People for Netflix’s CEO, a photo of Mao Swimming the Yangtse for Zuckerberg at Facebook.

*a) Several years ago, a flash-flood, resulting from a fierce storm knocked out a small bridge in Rye, NY; so far, all the king's horses and all the king's men have not been able to budge the Army Corps of Engineers to build diddly, b) Disclosure: the author is Chair of this fine club's Centennial Committee, c) Rye Playland & Beach are well known to generations of New Yorkers; the County administration called for proposals to develop this red-ink operation months ago, and nobody is talking, which is never good news, d) Rye's parking meters seldom work, the enforcement is nearly non-existent, so motorists are happy with the status quo of not paying.

Catalogue Madness!

This has already been an unusual autumn in the Northeast, with a pre-Halloweeen snowfall, an Indian Summer running all the way through Thanksgiving. Now December's here and I saw people playing tennis outdoors yesterday on Long Island (I swear) and today we are covered in a London or, perhaps more appropriately, since it's 60'F a San Francisco-type fog.

Is it any wonder that along with all the regular Christmas/Holiday catalogues, we've been getting some very peculiar ones? Here's just a sampling of what's new and odd:

Potty Barn: Yup. We also thought this was a printer's mistake; however, just one look inside will tell you it's a whole new idea. We never knew that there were so many ways to do you know, and these "vessels" come in so many colors. And, yes, this covers in-house and great-grandma's old standby, outhouse. Since this is a family blog, sort of, we will spare you the details here. Make sure you see the special "green" section, if you dare.

LL Been: Ever wonder what happens to the generations worth of really old stuff in the attic and cellar ordered from the original LL Bean catalogue? We're talking somewhat used, very used, and still in the box. Curious about what people do with all those fuzzy slippers, flannel-lined bikinis, and ice-tennis racquet sets bought when they visited little Miranda or Boscoe at camps near Freeport ME? Wonder no more; someone collected it all and is selling it back to us. Only in America.

J.Crudite': Now you can get at your raw veggies in ways you never thought possible. Want them in the shape of a fish, horse, sheep, triangles, circles, Newt Gingrich's profile? Get them here. Ever thought you'd be tempted to try turnip ceviche? Well, turnips are the new black as far as raw veg is concerned. You won't have to cut up your own anymore; just order from these guys. Did someone say dip? Oh yeah, this is the Big Dipper of dip emporia: hummus from all those places you needed a zillion shots and 3-page visas to visit. By Mail!

Lucky Genes: Well, not exactly lucky. These clever guys are talking about choosing "your" child's gene pool and being able to have your him/her/it bypass those nasty pre-K Mandarin or cello lessons. They claim to eliminate all the guessing about your child's talents, tendencies, and, the one you really care about, earning power. They mention Einstein, Jobs, Marilyn Monroe, one recent and one possible President (libel laws prevent us from naming them). Choose famous genes from the Arts, Politics, Business, Hedge-funders. Gives a whole new meaning to "Get Lucky."

Irene's Basement: While Greece, Italy, Portugal, etc. go down the tubes, Americans are busy making lemonade from lemons, People. The East Coast storm of the century (so far) rumbled up the coast with winds so strong and rains so wet that the 4,000 Weather Channel reporters on camera had to actually put up their hoods or get their hair mussed! Whatever this storm washed away, someone claimed it, dried it (mostly), and branded it. Now you can re-re-claim it at great prices.

Victor's Secret: We can only say that this would have been much better kept secret, especially since our mail now gets left out by the curb.

Holiday Books: A Door-Stopper, A Stocking-Stuffer, A Head-Warmer

Door-Stopper:
A History Of The World In 100 Objects By Neil MacGregor, Director of the British Museum, Viking.
A generous and thoughtful friend gave me this book; it is one that will keep on giving for years, since one can pick it up at any moment, go to one of the "Objects," and continue to receive insight and perspective.

Our age, like any other, considers itself to be the most advanced age; it's a natural mistake, or, maybe not mistake so much as an irrelevant idea. Funny thing how dozens upon dozens of these brilliant ages, piled atop one another,  always seem to bring us to a particularly sticky predicament. This book won't directly explain or resolve our current predicaments, but it will remind us that men and women have seen it all before. There is some comfort in that, I think.

Caveat Emptor: The book is thoroughly British and is based on a 2010 series of BBC radio programs.  While it includes A North American Buckskin Map from the mid-18th Century, the book does seem to go out of its way to exclude the US of A. For example, in the 1914-2010 Period, do not look for anything from Apple. Instead, you will see that the Credit Card object is from United Arab Republic, and "high tech" is represented by the Solar-powered Lamp and Charger from China. That said, it's well worth getting over any naturally British intellectual squeamishness about our role in the world, such as it is or might have once been.

Favorite Object: Ming Bank Note, China, AD 1375-1425. Why? It depicts, in an almost cartoon-like style, the actual piles of coins the note represents. Real dough.

Stocking-Stuffer:
Food Rules: An Eater's Manual By Michael Pollan, Penguin Paper and Illustrated (Maira Kalman) Hardcover.

A very simple-to-read collection of Sixty-Four thoughtfully short "rules." These are not going to hurt. Pollan, thankfully, does not preach here, nor lecture. Instead, he lays out very sound and simple to understand ways that we can all be healthier, smarter, lighter eaters...and still be happier for it!

How many people can get you to give up something and make you happier?! Well, at least one.

I bought the paperback version in Browser Books on Fillmore Street in San Francisco, mostly because I did not want to carry the illustrated hardcover home on a plane, despite my admiration for Maira Kalman's (The Illustrated Elements of Style and What Pete Ate among other favorites) work. You can easily finish reading the rules in a day, but another reason to have the paper edition is that you can keep it handy: in a carry-on to help you avoid airport food, in a purse, in a briefcase, messenger bag, under your fedora, etc.

These make great stocking stuffers for everyone in the family, and, if everyone gets it, no one person should feel offended.

Favorite Rules:
#19. If it came from a plant, eat it; if it was made in a plant, don't.
#64. Break the rules once in a while.

Head-Warmer:
Lightning: The Nature of Leadership By Bob Scher, with Photographs By Jane English, Codhill Press, New Paltz, NY.

Like "100 Objects," you may find yourself going back to this book many times for a refresher course. And, like "Rules," these are short, thoughtful, and highly relevant chapters in verse form, accompanied by Ms. English's extraordinarily appropriate photographs.

Sample:

COUNTERPARTS
A person who always
counts pennies
may avoid grand failure


but is often
denied
great success
The person who never
counts pennies
may achieve great success
but is often
in grave danger
and doesn't know it

This book should be mandatory reading in high schools, business schools, and on the campaign buses, not only for the candidates, but especially for the media covering, some might say inventing and destroying the same campaigns of people who would be our leaders. Why? Try this:

MISTAKES
The wise
learn from the past
The unwise
learn from the future
The fool
learns from the future again
and again

Scher is our Confucius. Just in time.

Greece: Let's Give It One More Troy

A few years ago, my brother-in-law gave me a book entitled When China Rules The World: The Rise of the Middle Kingdom and the End of the West by Martin Jacques. This was meant to cheer me in an hour of need, the specific need being paid full time employment during a period of financial "unrest," not to mention the fact that I had just turned sixty, which in our culture is tantamount to lying with the daffodils. The idea was: if the Chinese are coming for it all anyway, why worry? Or, at least I'd be prepared to work for them, when they arrived.

And cheer me it did, although not in the way that its author, a British journalist, had intended. Mr Jacques, in his haste to rid the world of anything remotely American, had made two critical mistakes right up front. First, he had no sense of humor whatsoever, and therefore could not envision that a regime or people without a sense of humor (the Chinese) would ultimately fail. Second, and most importantly, the data on which his claim that China would catch us by 2020 or so and completely dominate us by 2050 or so came almost entirely from one source...Goldman Sachs.

Any person who would stake his name or fortune, I thought,  on data publicly supplied by GS was obviously a fool, who should have asked to see the data on which GS had made its own long and short investments. So I put the book down, marked at page thirty-two and placed it in a stack between Simple French Food by Richard Olney (recommended) and Ogilvy On Advertising (highly recommended).

...And proceeded on my sometimes merry way to invent a life.

But, why do I bring this up?

Pensionagoras's Tomb

I have just been reading the paper, which now tells me that, in fact, the demise of the West may indeed be nigh, and golly, think of the irony, it all depends on Greece itself,  the cradle of the Western civilization, not China.

Greece, through the BC/AD millennia, laid all the groundwork for citizens' rights to avoid paying taxes, elude sustained hard labor, create a 56-week year so that there would be four extra weeks of vacation, and, most amazingly of all, invent a kind of mathematics that truly changed everything, at least for a while.

I refer, of course, to The Pension-agorrean Theory, to which American cities, towns, and villages, from Utica and Ithaca in the north to Athens (GA) in the South still subscribe:
a$ + b$(x) = ab$ (100x). 

Now it turns out that we cannot pay out that ab$(100x) after all, since it depends on annualized gains of 15-20%, and not the more realistic average of 5-6%, if that. Not to mention that it also depends on the accumulated value of productive work, which is how we create wealth with which to pay things. This is not exactly the same as just showing up at work four out of five days. We cannot pay out in Portugal, Ireland, Italy, Greece, Spain (PIIGS) or in America.

Oink.

Re-enter China...

...Emissaries from France and Germany have arrived in Beijing, on behalf of Greece and other European scofflaws to make the case to the world's most ruthless capitalist-totalitarian regime that it has a golden opportunity to wrest the mantle of world financial/economic supremacy from America much earlier than previously supposed.

The words etched over that mantle in ancient Greek, underneath the image of a horse, accurately rendered in Mandarin, mean: SUCKER.

...a little trick that the Greeks learned long ago at Troy (Asia Minor, not NY).

Saddle up, Comrades, and enjoy that ride.