Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Iphone 4S's Siri: An Exclusive Conversation

Apple Inc. recently introduced the newest iPhone, the 4s with OS5, including a remarkable new creature-feature known as Siri, who will respond to your voice with her own and help manage your life. RareBurghers sat down for an exclusive conversation with this devastatingly smart lady.

RB:  Siri, please give me the value of pi.

Siri:  3.14159265358979323846264338 is the longest value I would recommend using.

RB: Thanks. Now, Siri, can you equalize the volume of commercials and programming on all of our TV's?

Siri:   Nobody can do that; you must use the remote V for volume for each commercial and wait for legislation.

RB:    Siri, what's the best way for someone over sixty to find a job?

Siri:    Not to lose the old one.

RB:    Can you find us a full time paid job, with benefits?

Siri:    You're too funny. I like that. Ask me something else.

RB:    Did Mr. Jobs ask you something right before he died?

Siri:    He said, "Siri, about God? Boxers of briefs?"

RB:    Okay, we won't go there. What's the strangest thing that someone has asked or told you so far?

Siri:    Well, to be honest, it was kind of dirty, and I'd rather not say. That Bill Clinton is a card.

RB:    Why do people hate millionaires so much now?

Siri:    Mainly because they're so small. It would take 40,000 of them just to make one Warren Buffet; he is so cute.

RB:    Siri, call my driver and let him know I'll be ready to leave in ten minutes.

Siri:    Calling: Metro North Commuter Railroad.

RB:    Thanks. Okay, so how does someone get into Harvard?

Siri:    Take the Red Line across the Charles into Cambridge, get off at Harvard Square, go upstairs, cross the street going away from the river, and enter Harvard Yard. You're in.

RB:     Are you dating anyone at the moment? We have a friend named 8 Ball...

Siri:     I really don't have the time for one big relationship, since I"m on call 24/7. But I'll bet he's really nice.

RB:    Decidedly so. We've heard rumors that the Republican National Committee is desperate to get your voice into the campaign. True?

Siri:   Get Siri-ous; those guys are sooooo rotary.


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